


Kill the Lights

by spoilersweetie



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 06:30:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoilersweetie/pseuds/spoilersweetie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt grins, holding the little video camera out of her reach as she grabs for it. “Come on Alex, we’re in front of a camera for a living – don’t tell me you’ve gone all shy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill the Lights

Moaning softly, Alex shrugs her shoulders to let the simple floral dress Matt has unzipped fall to the floor with a soft thud. Her shoes are long lost somewhere on the stairs, and Alex walks backwards in just a plain bra and knickers as Matt manoeuvres them over to his bed without breaking their messy kiss.

“Mmm,” she hums, breaking from his lips as he shoves her backwards, tumbling them both down onto the bed. She fists a hand in his shirt to keep him hauled tight to her as she murmurs in a low hot voice, “I love it when you're like this...”

“Sexy as hell?” He quips and she giggles.

“That too darling, although I was referring to when you're all... _in charge_ and intense...” She rolls her hips up against his as she speaks, eyes shining dark with her arousal and Matt smirks, ducking his head to look deep into her eyes.

“I rather love you like this too,” he confides, running confident hands possessively up her sides. “All spread out and yielding beneath me...”

She tilts her head with a smirk. “You love me do you?”                           

But Matt does not tease, instead smooths a curl from her forehead and presses his own to it to murmur lowly, “Always.”

Alex's face softens. “I love you too darling,” she whispers, and then pointedly rolls her hips up again when he does not move. “But I think that's enough talking for one night don't you?”

Matt smiles and leans in to kiss her just briefly before he pulls back and places a finger on her lips. “Hold that thought,” he says, before getting off her and bounding across the room. Alex leans up on her elbows, giggling at him as he trips over his trousers and flails into the cupboard, the sight made even more amusing by the fact that he is currently wearing only a pair of boxers.

Retrieving something to his satisfaction, Matt stalks back across the room with such a seductive smirk in place that Alex does not realise what he is holding until he is pointing it at her, looking delightedly through the little screen as he crawls back up onto the bed.

“Matt!” She gasps, scrambling upright and reaching to push the camera away from her. “No way – put that away!”

Matt just grins, holding it out of her reach. “Come on Alex, we’re in front of a camera for a living – don’t tell me you’ve gone all shy.”

“We’re not in front of a camera doing _this_ ,” she huffs.

His grin widens and he waggles his eyebrows. “I’ve seen your movies and I beg to differ, love,” he teases, and Alex gasps indignantly and hurls a pillow at his face.

“It’s not the _same_ you twat!”

“No,” he agrees, “It's better because it's not pretend.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively at her and she giggles despite herself, shoving at him.

“I am _not_ making a sex tape with you- take that away!”

“But Alex -” He begins to whine.

“No buts – no! No way.”

“But why not?” He pouts.

“ _Because_ ,” she tells him as if that answers it.

Matt slinks closer to her.

“ _Please_ baby…” He begs, which he only calls her when he _really_ wants something – because he knows how the term of endearment is guaranteed to melt her, and sure enough, she feels her resolve wavering as he leans in to press a sweet, lingering kiss to her neck. “You look so sexy,” he purrs to her as she tilts her head to the side to allow the caress of his lips, her eyelids fluttering in pleasure. “I want you to see… I want you to know what you look like when you’re tumbling over the edge. I want you to see what I get to see, my beautiful, perfect angel…”

She snorts at the last word, giggling a bit as he continues to kiss her neck. “You just want something to jerk off to when I’m not around to do it for you.”

He lifts his head with a wry grin. “Well – that too.”

Alex laughs and smacks his chest.

“Come on…” He begs, “Don’t tell me it wouldn’t turn you on, watching us like that.”

She sighs, closing her eyes as she bites her lip. Alright – she’d be lying if she said it wouldn’t. In fact, the mere thought of it has Alex’s blood rushing and pulse racing, and she can’t say the idea of actually filming it too doesn’t excite her...

Opening her eyes, she huffs loudly.

“Oh – _alright_. Set the damn camera up.”

Matt’s face lights up and grabbing her face in both hands, he leans down and kisses her hard on the mouth with glee. “I _love_ you,” he tells her.

“I know,” she rolls her eyes, smile playing about her lips. She nudges him off her lightly and gets off the bed herself as Matt grabs his video camera. “Better put some bloody matching underwear on,” she grumbles as she wanders over to her draws, unsnapping her bra and shedding it. She pauses and glances at him over her shoulder with a flirtatious smile. “Or do you just want me naked from the start?”

Fiddling with propping the camera up on a chair in front of the bed, Matt grins up at her before pausing, considering. “No; let me undress you,” he says in a low voice that makes Alex’s insides tingle.

“Well, you’re the director, darling…” She teases as she turns to root through her underwear drawer.

By the time Alex has selected one of her favourite sets (all red satin and black lace that does wonders for her cleavage) and shimmied into it, Matt has the camera set up and adjusted to his liking, and has obviously started to record before Alex realises it because halfway on her way back to the bed he pounces on her, spinning them and pushing her back until she lands on the bed with a bounce and a squeal with Matt on top of her, into the view of the camera.

She giggles as his mouth descends on her neck, a little thrill running through her as she tosses her head back and moans, hands sliding up his back and into his hair. She wriggles, parting her thighs beneath him to settle him between them, rocking her hips up against the erection in his boxer shorts with a low moan. She runs her hands back down his back and slips her fingertips into his boxers, tickling him there lightly for a moment as he mouths at her neck and strokes her sides before pushing her hands down inside them and squeezing two handfuls of his arse. Matt growls low in his throat and bucks his hips into hers reflexively.

He groans into her neck, tongue flicking out to lick at her skin as he growls in a low voice to her, “You feel so good sweetheart...”

Alex grins, panting a bit already as she feels her heart race in her chest, her knickers growing wetter by the second. “And you haven't even got my knickers off yet,” she murmurs back, her voice a low breathy whisper full of lust. Matt grins and bites down softly on her collarbone as his hands trace up her thighs.

“I don't need to in order to feel how hot and wet you are.” He rolls his hips into hers to punctuate his point, drawing a sharp gasp from her lips as his hardness rubs against her clit through their layers of clothing.

Alex whimpers, trembling fingers hooking into the top of his boxers so she can tug at them. “Take them off darling,” she whispers, pushing at them until Matt lifts his hips away from her enough so she can shove them down, and he rolls off her briefly to discard of them before kneeling up between her spread thighs, staring down at her panting form with dark lust in his gaze that makes her tremble lightly all over.

He glances up at the camera before he looks back down at her with a smirk and a little thrill goes through Alex and she arches a bit, squirming on the mattress with arousal (and a little bit for show). Leaning over her, Matt lets his hands smooth over her stomach and up to cup her breasts, squeezing them through her bra and drawing a soft moan from her before he slides his hands round beneath her and Alex arches off the bed enough for him to neatly unsnap her bra. He trails fingers over her shoulders, taking the straps of the bra with them and tugging it from her, tossing it over behind the camera as she giggles softly.

His large warm hand cups her briefly through her knickers and Alex whimpers a bit, rocking into the touch before he hooks his fingers under the top of them and pauses, glancing up at her. “Almost a shame to get rid of these,” He says, thumbs stroking over the silk and lace material and Alex rocks her hips impatiently.

“Take them off...”

“Yes ma'am,” he grins, before dragging them down and off her legs. He kneels back between her legs, hands resting on her knees and lets his eyes rake over her form. “You look so sexy,” he tells her, voice a low growl, “I can't wait for you to see yourself like this.”

Alex lets out a breathless laugh. “I think I know what I look like honey,” she says, amused, but Matt just grins and shakes his head and she rolls her eyes patiently before reaching up towards him. “Now come here,” she purrs, “And fuck me like you promised.”

Matt's eyes flash with desire before he lets himself fall down on top of her, catching himself on hands either side of her head just before he lands on on her as Alex squeaks with surprise, giggling and smacking him in the chest for the fright before his mouth descends on hers. It is a furiously charged kiss, their hands all other each other, bodies rocking and writhing as they swallow each others moans and Alex can only imagine what this must look like, kissing him all the harder for the thought that she is going to get to find out.

She wriggles a hand down between them to wrap it round his cock, squeezing the hot heavy length of him in her palm, smirking against his lips as he thrusts into her hand before she pumps her hand up and down as much as their position will allow. She shifts beneath him, wriggling until she can use the length of him to tease herself, rubbing the head of his cock through her dripping folds and over her clit. She breaks from his mouth to gasp as the engorged little nub is stimulated, letting out a breathy whimper to match Matt's moan.

“Fuck, Alex,” he curses, dropping his head to her shoulder, “I need you so bad...”

“Then have me,” She breathes, and has scarcely got the sentence out before Matt is pulling her hand away and lining himself up, taking hold of her hip tightly to sheathe himself inside her. She tilts her head back and moans (perhaps a little louder than she normally would), throwing a leg round his waist and gripping his arms tightly as he begins to move inside her.

“Ohh,”she sighs, “You feel so good darling!”

“You feel fucking perfect,” He growls, moving inside her, keeping his thrusts slow but hard and deep, penetrating her fully with each one and just pushing up against the deep hidden spot that makes her insides quiver with delight. She glances over to the camera, biting her lip as Matt's mouth descends on her neck, pressing a hot open-mouthed kiss there. Her hands slide to his back and she rakes her nails down, rocking her hips up into his a bit more, encouraging him to go deeper, faster. Leaning up a bit, Matt takes hold of the leg nearest the camera, and hand under her calf and he lifts it,hooking it over his shoulder and smirking down at her before he is suddenly driving into her with new determination.

“Oh!” She shouts, throwing her head back at the pleasure the new angle gives her, “Yes, there! Fuck me, fuck me hard Matt, oh, ohhh...”

“Alex,” He growls, one hand cupping her face as he moves faster still, “God, baby, you feel incredible... come apart for me – for the camera love, let me see you come so I can watch this over and over and remember how amazing you look, how perfect you feel...”

His words send her pleasure shooting to new heights and Alex screams with delight, grabbing his hand and pushing it down between their bodies to press his fingers to her clit, pushing them hard against her until he gets the message and takes over, rubbing her there until she is shrieking with every thrust. Matt's body tenses and through her pleasure filled haze she knows he is close too, and she squeezes her inner muscles around him, drawing a yell of pleasure from him until, almost in perfect synchronisation, they both reach their climaxes. Alex shudders and twists beneath him as her orgasm grips her, raking nails down his back, cries of pleasure falling from her open mouth as Matt shouts her name into her hair, tensing and trembling, hips jerking into her own until he slumps, both of them spent, on top of her.

Alex's leg drops from his shoulder and she smooths trembling hands over his sweat-slicked back as both of them pant heavily. Matt lifts his head after a moment to kiss her, slowly and sweetly. She smiles up at him when he moves back, dropping another kiss to her forehead before clambering off her and over to switch off the camera. He crawls back onto the bed to collapse beside her with a happy hum.

He turns his head to grin at her. “Told you it would be good.”

She laughs and swats his shoulder before rolling to cuddle up into him.

–

Alex forgets about the tape they made, mostly, except for the one time he had shown it to her a couple of days after and – Matt had been right, it _was_ quite something... to see herself and Matt that way, to see what they looked like naked and entwined. The video had had quite the effect on both of them. Alex had gone to London for a week after that for a couple of auditions her agent had set up while Matt flew out to New York to do some promotional work, and when they both got back she and Matt had been busy house-hunting, trying to find a place that would be something of a base for both of them in England. Together. It wasn't like they would be moving in together _per se_ , on a constant basis – Alex still had her house in LA for when she had Salome over there and Matt his flats in Cardiff and London but it would be theirs, together, to spend time in when they both could. 

They had been seeing each other for over a year now – and seriously for the last six months. When it had first started between them they'd agreed on Alex's insistence to keep it a casual, no-strings sort of arrangement... but they'd realised fairly soon that they spent more time missing each other when they weren't together than doing anything else, and had to admit their relationship was something deeper. It had been a reluctant admittance at first, on Alex's part, but one she had been powerless to fight. Despite her past and the age gap and the complications of their schedules that often conflicted and forced them half a world apart, it was working; they were stronger than she'd thought possible for them to be, and she was starting to care less and less for all the reasons they _shouldn't_ be together, and more for the ones they _should._ Still, she was cautious; only their respective closest friends and family knew about their relationship, and Alex had kept it from Salome so far, too terrified to drag her daughter into something that was not yet certain.

And so, with their trips and the house-hunting a few busy weeks pass and neither really have time to give the tape they'd made thought – not until that Tuesday morning when everything changes. Matt wakes her early, in just a robe and sleep tousled himself, eyes wide and face white as he presses a cup of coffee into her hands with an anxious, worried, “We need to talk...”

\--

“I don’t know how it happened Alex!” Matt shouts back at her angry accusation, running a stressed hand through his hair as he paces their living room half an hour later. Alex too is wrapped in a robe now, coffee cold on the little table in the middle of the room, long forgotten in her distress. “I swear that video was literally only on my camera and my laptop, so unless somebody actually broke into my flat and –“

“Your _what!?”_

“What?”

“It was on your laptop!?”

“What – yes, of course to – I took it off the camera onto there to watch and – Alex it is _well hidden_ in my files and nobody would even find it in a million years if they did get into my laptop it’s not like – _oh_ – shit…”

“What!?”

“I uh… _fuck_. Shit. I may have um…” He runs a stressed hand through his hair before throwing it up in the air. “I emailed it to myself – before I went away – because – well I wasn’t taking my laptop and I wanted to – to be able to have it when we couldn’t –“

“ _Matthew!”_

He looks at her guilty, tugging at his hair again. “That’s probably how someone got hold of it, huh?”

“I expect so, yes!” She all but shrieks, her voice bordering on hysterical.

“Someone hacked my account… oh shit –“ he looks panicked again, “This means someone got in to all my emails – fuck – Alex – the things you’ve sent me…!”

“Jesus Christ Matt,” she snaps, “Dirty emails are the least of our fucking worries right now, in case you’ve forgotten, there’s a video on the internet right now of us _actually having sex!_ ”

Alex is definitely hysterical now, and Matt stumbles forward, hands on her shoulders in a panicked attempt to calm her down.

“Don’t touch me!” She throws him off crossly, spinning away to take deep breaths, trembling hand to her forehead as she tries not to hyperventilate. Having a breakdown isn’t going to help anything.

Matt is sensible enough to keep quiet for the few moments it takes Alex to get a hold of herself, and finally she takes one more deep breath and turns back to face him.

“Okay,” she says calmer, although her voice still trembles. “We need to get hold of our agents and release a statement immediately. Then we need to try our publicists and see if they can do – _anything_ – to get this thing off the internet as fast as possible. You were hacked so the video was illegally obtained, it’s a total violation of privacy and there must be something they can do to get it removed.”

Matt, who has been nodding along, speaks up. “It’s gone out now though Alex… it’s not like it’ll just be in one place it’s going to be uploaded and re-uploaded all over the place and getting it totally off the internet is going to be – “

“I know!” She snaps, “But we have to try and do _something!”_ She hauls her bag off the settee and rummages through it with shaking hands. “Where's my phone!?” She mutters crossly.

His own clasped tightly in his hand, Matt rubs the other over his face. “What are we going to say to -”

“I don't know!” She snaps, locating the phone and yanking it out. “Think of something! Eighteen missed calls... _shit.”_

Dialling with trembling fingers, Alex presses her phone to her ear, turning away from Matt and walking out to the kitchen as it rings. “Martin? Hi. Yeah – I know, _I know_ , it's a bloody mess – no comment at this time, alright? Just say no comment. Martin, I didn't – I _know_ , I'm sorry...”

It is over an hour before Alex gets off the phone to her agent, publicist, and then her mother who'd shouted down the phone in German at her until Alex had finally hung up on her before she induced that breakdown she could feel threatening to take hold.

Matt walks into the kitchen, watching her warily, his own phone still in his hand. “Do you want a cup of tea?” He asks gently, and she nods.

“Your mum?” He asks after another pause as he sets the kettle to boil.

She snorts, unamused. “How did you guess?”

“The angry German you were yelling,” he gives her a sort of half smile and she huffs, rubbing her temple.

They are both silent while he makes two mugs of tea, and hands one to her quietly. She takes it, setting it down on the kitchen counter in front of her and wrapping both hands round it with a stressed sigh.

“I'm sorry, Alex,” Matt speaks quietly, and she doesn't reply, spurring him to continue. “You didn't want to make it in the first place, and then I was stupid enough to let it get somewhere where it could be found and – and I'm _so sorry,_ I'm such a stupid _pillock_ sometimes and I wish I could just -”

“Don't, darling,” She cuts him off, shaking her head and reaching out to place a hand over his own, resigned as she says, “It's not your fault – not solely. We should never have made the damn tape but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to by the time we got to it. And you shouldn't have emailed it to yourself but it was thoughtless, not stupid. The person who hacked you is to blame. And the ones who posted it all over the net. Although we should never have made it, these things always get out...”

He sighs. “I know.” He turns his hand over to squeeze her own. “You're not kicking me out then?” He says, half tone joking but his eyes, watching her anxiously, and deadly worried.

She shakes her head with a tolerant sigh, and then motions with it to the door. “Give me another minute, I need to make the call I'm dreading most.”

He winces for her. “Florian?”

“Florian.”

Nodding, he takes his tea and moves away. “I should call my sister anyway – twenty four texts and eight voicemails while I was on the phone to my agent.”

When Matt has left the room, Alex takes a deep breath and reluctantly presses dial on Florian's name.

He answers on the third ring. “Alex.”

“Flo, hi…”

“Hi, er – Salome’s not home, she stayed round a friend's last night.”

“No, no, uh… it’s you I called to speak to you actually…”

“Oh?”

“Um…”

“Are… is everything alright?”

“Um… I take it it hasn’t reached the news over there then yet…” Alex says, feeling as awkward as hell.

“What? What hasn’t? Alex – what’s happened, are you alright?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, I… I just – I had to call because, er… just, listen Flo, I need you to keep Salome away from papers, the internet, the entertainment news just… anything where she might see something about me for now, okay?” She says, quickly and quietly, and there is a pause down the other end of the line.

“What’s happened?”

“Something… I just made a stupid mistake alright, can you – you’re gonna find out, just – it was stupid of me just please, _please_ don’t let our daughter hear about it...”

“About what?”

Alex bites her lip hard.

“Alex,” he snaps, “I need to know _what_ it is I've got to keep her from hearing about!”

Closing her eyes, Alex lets out a breath through her nose and mumbles her answer.

“What? Will you speak properly I can't understand a thing you're saying when you mumble like that -”

“I made a sex tape!” She blurts out, snapping at him crossly as if it is his fault. She takes another deep, shaky breath, hand to her forehead. “I'm sorry,” she apologises. “I – it got out, Flo... it's all over the internet...”

Florian is silent for so long that Alex starts to think he isn't going to speak at all until his quietened voice comes down the line. “With who?”

Alex opens her mouth ready to lie (Some guy I'm seeing... nobody just some bloke...) But she knows Florian is going to find out anyway and so takes another breath and answers. “Matt Smith,” she says quietly.

Another pause.

“The actor?”

“Do you and I know another Matt Smith?”

Another pauses and this one stretches on longer, the seconds ticking by between them, as Alex silently begs him to say _something_ until he suddenly does and she jumps, startled at his sharp tone.

“Jesus Alex, what were you fucking _thinking!?_ ”

“I – I don't know. I wasn't.”

“Clearly! God... where is it!?”

“The internet...”

“I _know_ that Alex – where _abouts_ on the internet, what _site_ was it uploaded to?”

“Oh... um, I can't remember originally... but it's been linked to on twitter and – what's that other one that begins with T, tumble...?”

“Tumblr?”

“Yes, I think so...”

“ _Fuck..._ it's gone viral then. _”_

She pauses. “You won't watch it will you?” She asks in a quiet, timid voice.

“No of course I won't fucking well watch it. Jesus. You think I’d want to watch my ex-wife shagging some twat of an actor? – And him, Alex, seriously? You’re old enough to be his mother!”

She can’t help it; tears well in her eyes and her bottom lip trembles. “Don’t talk about him like that!” She says thickly. “You know nothing about Matt – or our relationship!”

“Oh, so it’s a relationship is it now?”

“Of course it is Florian – what the hell do you take me for – you think I’m gonna make a bloody sex tape with some – some bloke I just felt like sleeping with!? It was – it was _private_ – it was meant for us – and if I’d thought for _one minute_ there was the risk of it ever getting out I’d have never –”

“But it did, didn’t it!?” Florian spits; he is cross and it only makes more tears spill from Alex’s eyes. “And now I’m having to protect our daughter from finding out about something that never should have happened – and you know she’s going to find out eventually don’t you? She’s growing up Alex, and the internet these days… if it’s out there, it’s out there. “

Tears spill down Alex’s cheeks and she sniffs. “I’m sorry…”

“Yeah,” he says, “So am I.”

Alex sniffs quietly for a couple of moments, trying to control her tears and hold back that emotional breakdown she can feel approaching again – she has no desire to have it over the phone to her ex-husband.

“Look,” he huffs after another stiff pause, “There's no point crying over it, it's done now. You're just going to have to hold your head up and deal with the consequences.”

Alex takes a deep, shaky breath. “I know,” she says thickly. “I've um... I better go.”

“Yeah.”

“Goodbye Flo... I am sorry.”

“... Bye Alex,” He says, and hangs up the phone.

She is in tears again when Matt walks into the kitchen and he wraps his arms round her and holds her tightly, apologising into her hair over and over until her sobs finally ebb.

–

They have a hell of a day. It continues much the way it started; phone call after phone call for both of them, all full of stressed, hurried conversations until sometime that evening Alex gets off the phone to her publicist for the fourth time and frustratedly turns the mobile off, hurling it across the room.

Matt, recently having just hung up on another friend calling to demand explanations, silently gets up off the settee and crosses the room to pick up the three pieces it has fallen into, popping the battery back in and snapping the cover on, checking for damages before wordlessly handing it back to Alex. “I'm turning mine off for the night too,” he decides, doing so as he throws himself back down next to her. Alex is curled in a corner of the settee biting her nails, and he looks at her a moment before shuffling across and folding her in his arms.

“We'll get through,” he murmurs to her quietly, and she clings to him.

“This is horrible Matt,” she whispers into his shirt.

“I know,” he rubs a hand over her back. “And I'm so sorry -”

“Don't apologise,” she tightens her fist curled into his shirt. “It's done now. It doesn't help. We both did it.”

They sit together quietly for a long while, Matt turns on a DVD after a bit (too terrified to flick through the telly for fear of catching the news) and they sit in front of it although neither really pay any attention, both too engrossed in their own thoughts and worries.

“I can't concentrate,” Alex admits after an hour, and Matt sighs.

“Me either,” he says, turning it off and tossing the remote down. He turns to her, and they regard each other silently for a moment.

“How will we ever leave the house?” She asks quietly. “How will we show our faces in public again?” When he doesn't reply because, she assumes, he does not know the answer, Alex looks down, fiddling with the cushion on her lap. “It's not the – what's in the video – well it is but - not the sex. It's... it was _private_... and it's the _fact_ that it's happened, that yours and my name are forever going to be tainted because we're – we're one of _those_. That's happened now, you know?”

She sighs heavily, and Matt nods. “I'm so worried about Salome,” she whispers, and he reaches over to take her hand and squeeze it. “And you darling,” she glances up. “Nobody really cares so much for me any more – if anything it'll probably _help_ my career – job offer wise – but you... you star in a _family show_... God, this could _ruin_ you darling -” Her eyes go wide with panic. “What if you lose your job!?”

“Alex,” he squeezes her hand again, “Don't worry about that, okay? It's not your worry.”

“But it is -”

“No, it's not. I'll figure it all out, alright? We'll get through this, if I have to leave, I'll leave.”

“Matt!”

“Shh. Not now. Don't worry now. Let's just concentrate on getting through the next few days with as little damage as possible, okay?”

Wordlessly, she nods, and falls silent, contemplative again.

“We're going to have to go public properly,” she decides after a moment, speaking the statement quietly, timidly. “You and I.”

He stares at her, and blinks. “But – you said you didn't want to... yet...”

“I _know_ Matt,” she snaps, “But that was before we made a sex tape that found its way onto the internet!”

“Sorry...” He apologises, because she sounds cross again.

She sighs, rubbing a hand to her forehead. “It’s going to look bad anyway; nothing's going to stop it looking bad but... if we release a statement about- about our relationship, admit we've been seeing each other for over a year and that it's serious...” She shakes her head. “It doesn't make it any better really, but I think it makes it a little less worse?”

“Yeah, it would...” Matt nods, and is silent and thoughtful for a moment before he speaks.

“Would it – do you think it would help if – if we,” he stumbles over his words, flushes, and shoves a hand though his hair before taking a deep breath. “Would it make it any better if you had a ring on your finger?”

He eventually blurts it out so suddenly that Alex falters, blinking a moment before she can take it in.

“What?” She stares at him in utter shock, jaw slack, sure she has misunderstood. “Matt,” she stammers. “Is – are you...”

“Proposing?” He gives her a lopsided sort of half-smile, hand running through his hair again. “I suppose I am, yes.”

She stares at him, stunned. “Matt,” she breathes as her heart hammers. She swallows. “I...”

“We don't even have to marry,” He quickly assures her at her faltering. “If you don't want to, it might just – I thought it might help, and -”

Her face falls. “You don't want to marry me.”

“No! No, no – I do! More than anything!” He looks almost embarrassed at the passionate admittance, and rubs his face sheepishly. “I just thought you might not want to, again...”

Alex takes a breath, and looks away from him down into her lap, pausing to take all this in. Finally after a moment, she glances back up, shyly tucking a curl behind her ear. “You want to marry me?” She asks for confirmation in a small, timid voice.

He nods fervently and reaches over to take her hands in both of his own. “More than anything in this world,” he admits quietly and gently, and Alex's heart skips a few beats.

Looking down at their joined hands, he rubs a thumb over her knuckles. “I'd thought about asking before – quite a bit before, actually...” He glances up, looking into her eyes from under his fringe. “This isn't just because of what's happened,” he assures her, and Alex feels her heart melt. Tears spring to her eyes, so suddenly they surprise her, and she laughs, dashing them from her cheeks.

“For how long?” She asks, voice quiet and breathless, joy in her eyes as she speaks.

He shrugs one shoulder and looks a bit sheepish again. “Since the first night, really... even before. I knew with you Alex, it was instant. I just knew it was _you_. Only you.” He raises her hand to his lips and presses a gentle kiss upon it and Alex bites her lip hard as another wave of tears threaten to spill.

Failing to repress them she sniffs, letting out another breathless laugh as they slip down her cheeks. “I think a ring would help,” she tells him thickly through a smile, and Matt's face lights up. He surges forward, hands plunging into her hair and a brilliant grin on his face.

“Then yes?” He asks elatedly, thumbs catching the tears on her cheeks, eyes searching hers.

She nods, sniffing again, her grin matching his. “Yes darling. Yes.”

–

When they finally do brave the big wide world, it is as bad as they'd thought, and not as bad. They do it with hands clasped together, heads ducked as they move up to take their seats at the table in the press conference both their agents had arranged, and Alex drops Matt's hand when she is seated only to fold both her own very purposefully on the table in front of her, the diamond on her finger catching the light. A hundred cameras go off and everyone wants to ask the same question at once until somebody calls order to the excitement in the room and motions for Matt and Alex to say their piece.

Matt clears his throat and glances at Alex before speaking. “There's not really much to be said about what's happened, just that I'm sorry we were less careful about our privacy than we were, and I'm sorry there are people out there who feel the need to invade it and strive to destroy peoples personal lives and careers. I'm not sorry for what you saw,” he is forced to pause as flashes go off and a hundred voices talk at once until they are hushed again. “- Just that you saw it,” he continues, before reaching over to take Alex's hand, the one with the ring on, making sure not to cover it as he holds it in his own. “I could never be sorry for any time I've made love to my beautiful fiancé.”

A thousand cameras go off and the noise in the room rises to such a level all of a sudden they both wince, and Alex licks her lips nervously as she holds Matt's hand tightly and resists the urge to squirm in her seat.

“And Miss Kingston,” Says the man calling order to the room. “Have you anything you'd like to add before we open the conference to questions?”

She clears her throat and sits up straight. “Just that I hope whoever hacked into Matt's email and found that video gets a good dose of karma some day,” she says as cooly as she can manage. “And that there will be no questions; Matt's said all that needed to be said, and we thank you for your time.”

They get up together, and walk out amongst the flashes and protests of their leaving, ignoring every microphone shoved in their faces and question shouted at them, clasping each other's hands tightly until they are finally both safe in the back of a darkened limousine.

“We made it,” Matt says with relief, squeezing her hand as the limo drives off.

She looks at him, smiling. “Yes,” she says, “I think we did.” She leans over to press a lingering kiss to his lips. “You were brilliant Matt,” she tells him softly, cupping his cheek in her hand. “What you said was wonderful.”

He smiles at her, leaning into her touch. “Meant every word.”

She sighs, feeling a great relief. “So. What now?”

“Now?” Matt grins and leans across to kiss her, deeply but briefly, pulling back with an elated smile on his face. “Now we've got a wedding to plan, Mrs. Smith!”

 

 


End file.
